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Wednesday 21 August 2013

Grieving for a lost friend

Hi my doggy friends, can anyone give me advice please.

I lost my faithful old friend Ryan a couple of weeks ago. He was nearly 14, the most beautiful Lab/Ret you could ever wish to meet, but I also have a young two-year-old Lab/Ret and she is grieving terribly. She is not eating properly and is so lethargic.

Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with this? I know how I feel, I still cry for him myself, so I can’t imagine how she feels.

Amanda Beevers, via Facebook

6 comments:

  1. I would like to ask whether she was present at the time of his passing. Does she understand what has happened or does she think that he has just disappeared?

    I would take her to the vet and see if they can prescribe any drugs to help her cope. Or alternatively look at herbal remedies that help e.g. Star of Bethlehem.

    I would take her out more regularly if that is what she enjoys to bring her morale up and see other dogs. Also, create a routine for her so her day is structured and if you make it fun (lots of toys/attention/her favourite food) it may distract her temporarily.

    If the time is right you could consider getting another dog but this should be for you, not for her. It may help her have another dog in the house as someone to communicate with but equally if you are not ready for another dog then you would only be stressing yourself out and comparing him to Ryan which is not fair on the new dog either.

    Good luck!

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  2. We had the same problem ourselves when we lost our oldie Shadow. Our younger dog Monty pined dreadfully. All I can recommend is plenty of loves and fusses, try not to cry infront of her or she will fret that you are always upset. We made a point of taking Monty out in the car with us, finding new, interesting walks and brought him a special play toy from Pets at Home....which he chose....to take to bed at night. It will take time but all will be well....I also gave him some Star of Bethlehem Bach flower remedy which is great to assist with the grieving process.

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  3. so sorry you have lost your old dog. It is very upsetting and takes a long time before it gets easier. It is good that you have another doggy companion, it makes it a bit easier. I know your don't want to feel like you are repacing Ryan but maybe rehome another dog to help him through it, which will also help another dog who has been in re-homing centres for a long time. Thinking of you. Been there 4 years ago, but I had no other dog to keep me company only my cats. xxxxxx

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  4. Personally, although its difficult, a new companion will always be the best solution. As long as you don't look on it as replacing dear old Ryan, you won't be comparing the new one to Ryan all the time. I found that the best way if you have room is at least 2 dogs (I have 3 with my old one in a million due to leave us at any time due to the big C)We will be having her put to sleep at home when the time comes, one for her and also so my other dogs can say goodbye. I wonder, did your youngster have a chance to say goodbye? This might also affect them and the shock of suddenly being on their own.

    I hope your youngster starts to settle. In the mean time maybe try to get out where there are other dogs and friends so you can try to take her mind off it.

    Good luck.

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  5. Hi, I would try Star of Bethlehem. Its a BACH flower remedy which I have used successfully for grieving. You and your dog might both benefit from Reiki Healing, animals are not able to speak about their feelings and become "trapped" by their emotions, Reiki offers a way of letting go of their feelings and healing.

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  6. I am very sorry to hear of your loss. If you attempt to keep your Lab busy with exciting activities and make sure you are spending time together, it may help to take her mind off her grieving.

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