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Tuesday 4 May 2010

Our dog is afraid of us, what can we do?

I am almost in tears as I am writing this but I am desperately looking for some help with regards to my Boston Terrier. We have had her for eight months and she is now one year old. The problem we are having is that the dog is petrified of human contact.
We got her from a breeder when she was five months old. The breeder stated that the first owner returned her to them because they could not bond with the dog. Most dogs run up to greet their owner when they return home, well ours runs away from us.
She spends most of her time within the home avoiding her family. We have had her checked out by the vet who thinks that she may have suffered some traumatic event before we got her which has damaged her confidence and that she may also be naturally timid.
We also have spent some time with a behaviourist who shares the same opinion however nothing they have suggested has helped her gain confidence. She attends dog training class an although she does show some interest in some of the other dogs any interaction with people results in extreme fearfulness (trembling, shaking etc).
She is so afraid of her own family that when anyone puts the lead on her before going for a walk quite often results in her losing control of her bowels and she poops on the floor.
Is there anything we can do to help her?
We all love her very much and I always said I would never return her to the breeder but the dog is so afraid of us and seems to be so unhappy that I often wonder if I am doing the wrong thing by keeping her here.
I am afraid that one day her little heart will give out due to her state of mind. Any help by anyone would be greatly appreciated.
Paul Daly, by email

What a very sad story. It does sound like something catastrophic has gone wrong with this little dog's early socialisation. Is there anyone who has overcome such a problem? Any hints you can pass on. I'm emailing to ask for locality as I'm guessing some local assistance may be needed. My instincts are to discover if this was a dog that ended up bonding with another dog not people, perhaps another small dog. Behaviourists, would the presence of another dog that is confident and friendly with people help bridge the gap or just make things worse?
Beverley Cuddy, Editor

6 comments:

  1. I think any behavioural input needs to be from someone who can directly observe and evaluate this little dog, as giving advice without seeing the dog in it's own home could lead to an inaccurate approach being suggested.
    It does sound as though something early on has gone badly wrong, and what happened in this pup's first home is probably key. We once homed a perfectly happy, healthy, confident puppy with a family whom we thought were ideal. The couple split up and the puppy was returned to us a completely different little dog, timid prone to urinating in fear etc, and we think she had witnessed domestic violence. Having said that, there may be some general steps that can be suggested which might help.
    Firstly, difficult though it might be, and hurtful as it is, accept at present that this little dog finds direct approaches too stressful. So everyone should be aware of letting her dictate the pace of interaction, in order to help her build her confidence. There is a wonderful book by Turid Rugaas called On Talking Terms with Dogs Calming Signals which gives lots of very useful information on interpreting dogs body language,how to know when your dogs is stressed and what can be done to help. Reading this book will help the owners undertsand their dog better.
    As a proponent of natural feeding I have to say that feeding a high quality natural diet will supply this little dog with a good supply of the vitamins and minerals required to protect and nourish her nervous system, and protect her immune system. There are many resources available both books and online groups which can give factual information advice and support on this topic. You do not say whether this dog has been vaccinated or had chemical wormer and flea treatments but there is school of thought which says that in some susceptible dogs, such treatments can affect their nervous system. Information/advice can be obtained from www.canine-health-concern.org.uk
    There are of course any number of other resources to help nervous stressed dogs,from DAP collars sprays and adaptors to prescription drugs from the vets to Rescue Remedy, Skullcap and Valerian or other homeopathic remedies. It might be that going to a homeopathic vet will ensure a thorugh holistic approach to dealing with this little dogs' problems. Doreen Simpkins
    www.haveahappyhound.co.uk www.happyhoundgrooming.co.uk

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  2. When faced with a sad or upset dog, the first reaction is for us to bend down to them and cuddle them, even pick them up. In this situ, this action is not whats best for the dog. When you're at home tonight, look at how everyone in the home is acting around the dog. Even when you feel you are ignoring them, you may find you actually are sending some pretty scary signals to the dog! Even sat on the sofa watching TV but every few mins turning and looking at the dog - this can cause upset and make the dog think something is going on, something is going to happen... I know it sounds an awful thing to do, and it is hard to do, but the best thing for your dog is to totally ignore her. When you feed her, if she comes to the kitchen with you, dont talk to her, just prepare the meal and set it down and walk away. When you put the lead on, try not to call her to you, just pick up the lead and gently walk to her (not looking her in the eye) and place the lead on her and walk out - quietly but strongly. If you go out in the garden, just walk out with her and tend to the flowers/weeds, walk around, hang washing. Again not speaking. What you want to do is to make her see that you being in her space is non-invasive and non-threatening. Even looking a dog in the eye can be threatening. When you feel like she is a bit calmer, maybe try sitting on the floor near to her and have some treats handy. Again not looking at her, just hold some treats out in your hand. Or throw them close to her, then closer and closer to you. It's all about confidence building and repetitiveness.
    Good luck, it's wonderful that you are not going to give up on her. She has more of a chance of being happier with you than being passed onto another family

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  3. great comments from the previous poster - we rehomed a dog similar to this last year and her new owners are at last seeing improvement.Absolute routine has been a key element in her re training and bonding. A DAP collar or spray may also help. Dogs like this often benefit from a housemate - I wonder whether you would consider this?

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  4. Anonymous has put it so well. I was going to make some suggestions before I saw her post, but realised she has said what I was going to say - and put it better.
    That method works so well in calming nervous dogs' fears and making them more confident.
    Julia Lewis

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  5. Was interested to read this as I had a little Westie who was very similar to this. When we put our hands out to her she used to run a mile. We found the best thing was just to leave her to set her own pace. It is very hard to do because you just want to cuddle her to make things right. Eventually Bonnie found a little 'hide-away' under our spare bed, between the under-storage boxes. No-one could reach her and she felt completely safe there. She would come down on her own terms, when she was ready. I'd be watching tv and find that a little head appeared, asking for a stroke. As she got bolder, she'd roll over and ask for her tummy to be tickled. But if we tried to approach her with a lead in our hands, she'd run a mile. When out in the garden, if we tried to approach her, she'd run and hide under the leylandii. After 3.5 years, we got another little Westie boy from the Dog's Trust & this helped immensely. When we called Bailey for a walk, he'd immediately run over & she'd come running too. Just wanted to share this with you for reassurance really, that things can be fine, but on her terms. By the way, we later found out that Bonnie had come from a puppy farm, passed on for a profit by the lady who purported to be her breeder but was legally licensed as a pet shop, so who knows what experiences she had as a puppy.

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  6. Annaloveswhippets23 July 2010 at 13:47

    I completely agree with the first "Anonymuous" Another dog may help to bring her confidence on as if you're stroking and playiing with a new dog then she will see that there is nothing to be afraid of. A new dog would act as a role model espiecally if it was a sensible, mature older dog perhaps from a rescue centre. You may not want to take on another dog but in my opinion this is the best solution. (You could even foster a rescue dog for a short time and see how she reacts to the situation)
    Good Luck, as I know this must be a hard time for you.

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